The ones that fell through the cracks

Dear Readers,

Often, we find ourselves looking at life through the lens. No, not a prescription for myopia or hypermetrophia, or maybe even both (though the distinction is becoming less obfuscated with transition optics, contact lenses, and, dare I say it, prescription Google glass. I'n not one for making lists, because I believe that they are just the philistine's road to perdition, the talent deprived's path to fame. But talking to someone close to me today, - and having realized that not being a journalist, if I did not produce works to keep the followers engaged, that I would be forgotten - I've prepared a list of movie related stuff that you should see. This list does not require you to be art aficionados. Nor doe it require you to scrounge about the internet to seek counterfeit examples to enjoy.

There are no pictures on this entry because you have to experience them. They are not popular by any means either because they are my, and mine only, personal favorites. Hope you enjoy enjoy them. All you  need is access to YouTube.

1. Kanne Kaadhal Nilame: A futuristic take on Oru Naal Podhumaa. Every single stanza of this song, from the opening to the cadenza is a different tune. I bet this is one of the songs that fell through the cracks between AR Rahman and Harris Jayaraj. Hear it once ans you'll be hooked.

2. Yenga Veetu Ramayanam: A comedy film a la Kaadhalikka Neram Illai, this gem would be forgotten and in the scrap heap of worldd cinem. Please cast a second eye towards it for a Crazy Mohan style screenplay and S. Ve. Sekar style sharp dialogues. This has a style to be a s,sleeper DVD hit if such a thing existed in Tamil cinema.

3. Agatha Christie's Hercule Poirot: If you realized that S. Balachandher's Andha Naal was a frame to frame remake of the crime Dame's And then there were none, you would take a much greater interest in her novels. As a country. we love whodunits a la Holmes, Bakshi and Faluda, but we seem to be aloof to Poirot. Perhaps the truth about this crime drama will convince us otherwise.

4. Vijaykanth: It is fashionable to deride the now obese and constantly drunk MLA and would be Chief Minister, but do realize that this man was instrumental for the genre of spy and soldier super hits such as Mudhalvan, Amaidhi Padai and Ko. Let me draw your attention back to twenty years to such trend setters as Captain Prabhakaran, Pulan Visaranai and Sethupathi IPS.

5. Budget Padhmanabhan: Everyone remembers Ullathai Alli Thaa as the definifing comedy as the nineties. But few acknowledge that it was T.P. Gajendran with his Budget Padhmanabhan that set the trend for aged heroes to have a market again. He cast Prabhu in a rib - tickling spoof of a common man's dilemma, How about this for a nugget about a miserly hero: Vivek, "I have to put this jeans for stone wash.", Mannivannan, "I have to put this dhoti for acid wash,", an incensed Prabhu, "One more word out of you two and I'll put you both for petrol wash."

6. Rhythm train accident scene: Not any would realize that this was a true gem. But it was. It made Tamil film makers realize for the first time that special effects matter. Vasanth had a fantastic script that has been used a dozen time over, but could not get the budget to do justice to a couple of sequences. By his own admission, he was not happy with this scene, nor the item song he had to use Ramya Krishnan for. But it set the trend for improved visual effects in Tamil cinema, and led to, positively or not, the trend that item songs would be used situationally to show the villain in bad light from now on.

7. Thulluvadho  Ilamai... Neruppu koothadikidhu song: Noir in Tamil films had been something of a taboo subject till now. It was considered A certificate material. Kasthuriraja was the the first to break it. Very rarely in Tamil cinema or even in Indian films have we seen subjects like sexual crimes being broached. This was a very disturbing movie, more so in the context that it was a father directing his son as protagonist in such a venture. But, perhaps, if more such pieces came along, we as a society might stop basking in the supercilious claim that it happens only in the decadent west?

8. Shankar's Boys or Simbhu's Vaanam: Why is it that we as a society accept so much violence against women... from female infanticide to acceptance of prostitution, but cannot get our sorry asses to realize and accept that as long as there is a taboo and prohibition, there will be prostitution? As statistics have shown, the higest incidences of AIDS are in nations where sex in a Taboo subject. Is it perhaps time for society o change its norms towards longevity rather than pride? I also bill films like Karuthamma about female infanticide and Chandni Bar about the plight of sex workers this category.

9. Walt Disney's Alladin: This was the first movie that broke the mentality that human sentiments were region specific. It made us realize that we could appreciate foreign films as having the same motivations that we did, albeit being a translated movie. Independence day, as the first Tamil subtitled film was another one.

10.Andha Naal (not that same Naal): Sivaji Ganesan is is the hero par excellence. And tragic it is that that Tamil cinema is SO unsubtle that negative roles almost always end up being cruel... that the backgrounds of the main characters are not analysed. The first Tamil movie to do so was Andha Naal, a disgruntled radio scientist's hope to Vyapari came close in spirit (although I cringe that in all the sixty years that had elapsed, it took SJ Suryah to come up to its successor in spirit).

Beta Noir. Beta testing a new genre for Tamil Cinema - Soodhu Kavvum, Pudhupettai, Aaranya Kaandam and Thulluvatho ilamai

I've been told by many people that my posts are hard to read. That they are too complicated with difficult  phrases, obscure English prose or unfamiliar references and require a little bit of initial research to totally follow. I personally think that its not that complicated. All I'm asking of my readers is to follow a few simple rules:

1. No big thinking. There's no need to think beyond the usual stuff . If there is a reference to something you've not seen before, enjoy it or forget it. Look it up when you have time.

2. Don't come here with your mind already made up. This is not a usual blog with the usual description of plot lines and plot holes. Just keep your mind fresh and clear. By the time you come across this little site, you'll probably be well aware of the movie I'm talking about.

3. I'm not expecting you to be either English professors or Tamil medium students. Please have trust in me that I will always write what appeals to the ordinary person, and that I'm no different myself as a reader. I don't have any great expectations of myself, and neither should you. I don' want to torture you.

4. I'll never insult your intelligence. Readers are the heart and soul of this blog, as they are of any thing else. Bloggers post for their readers to read and enjoy. They don't post to get angry responses. They don't post to get frustrated audiences.

And then fifth, this is the most important,

5. If I've screwed something up so bad in an entry, I'll be the first one to apologize. If you've read my entries before, and If you've come back agian, you'll realize that it has probably changed. I'm happy to take constructive criticism and change things that I've been told are not in good taste.

There... these are the five rules I put for myself. And these are the five rules that "KEDNAPING" also successfully works by.

Better to be late than never. Even better, better to be late and latest rather than new and oldest. That's why its taken me so long to write this entry about the fantastic movie Soodhu Kavvum and others of this type.

In those simple five rules from the movie, that I felt are relevant to any walk of life, not just "KEDNAPING," I felt that the director of this movie got everything down crystal clear. You see how with just a few modifications I was able to adapt those rules to my own writing style. It is a gem of a movie that will probable be forgotten in a few years. As Tamil cinema matures and as Tamil audiences start looking for more, movies like this will become templates for future generations. But they themselves will end up in some dark corner of a digital library. Because movies like this are not for everyone. They are only for people who appreciate subtle humor. Most of the humor we have today, like that of Vivek, Vadivelu, Santhanam, even Senthil - Goundamani and even Nagesh, are in your face and body language oriented.

Dialogues and screenplays are mostly as direct as possible in Tamil Cinema with the exception of people like Mysskin and Selvaraghavan. Unfortunately,  their brand of movies are not for the everyone. For instance, I personally hated Pudhupettai, but I loved the climax when Dhanush goes to kill the bad guy. The BGM is fantastic. Highly upbeat - capturing utter hopelessness of his one man crusade versus a ton of baddies - and yet utterly hopeless, because you feel that this is the last hoorah of the hero. The scene when ten rowdies come at him with knives and run back in fear as the camera pans out to reveal that Dhanush now holds a gun is pure magic. His mad laugh suggesting that  he has become mad and that the director has infused ironical humor into the scene.

Soodhu Kavvum is like that, only the darker elements have been replaced with noir. Let me explain this term. Noir in French means black, and if literally translated into English, means darkness. However, in the context of movies, it means showing the seedier, seamier, uglier parts of life in a way that is not revolting for most of us. Its a way of showing things that we were probably not aware of happening in an acceptable way. Many Hollywood movies have done this kind of thing before. Like Vivek's fantastic explanation of the Policeman's roles in movies from MGR in Ragasiya Polive, Sivaji in Thanga Padhakkam, Rajnikanth in Moondru Mugam, Vikram in Saamy, and, ah (Vivek gives a beautiful pause here, just like Vijayakanth would, if he was advising senior officials across a conference table), "OOmai Vizhigal lerundhu Pala padangalla Vijayakanth, (in many movies since Mute Eyes)", we have movies like Peter Sellers' How I learnt to live with the Bomb, to Sin City, to Fast and Furious to Oceans Eleven and so on. They have mastered this art. We are only learning it.

Aaranya  Kaandam approached this genre from a purely masala (action oriented formula) angle. In that movie, it was decided to show the usual aspects of gangster flicks such as violence and implied vulgarity in a very realistic light. Pudhupettai approached subjects like rowdyism, political motives, and unfaithfulness to your wife in a slightly academic way. While Aarayna Kaandam was still not going to gothe extra mile and make us hate a hero who was working for getting a massive cocaine deal done for his own profit, Pudhupettai was trying to get us to hate its hero as much as possible. A very bold move for Tamil Cinema, which even the beautifully made Sigappu Rojakkal only barely managed. But it too gave up in the end by dissolving into a crusade.

The movie that I've not mentioned so far, which is Thulluvatho ilamai, is extremely dark in comparison. It talks about taboo subjects like alcoholism, drug dependence, child abuse, sexual harassment and homosexuality (which is a taboo subject in India, and I don't want to get into here). It also stars Dhanush, but in a role that nobody else in the industry would like to do as a debut. Its like debuting an opening batsman to the bounce of a Perth wicket. Its definitely noir, but its depressing. Like Requiem for a Dream or Trainspotting (Great but tragic movies - watch them if you're in a dark mood). It has no redeeming qualities as an entertainer. It forces realities down our throats to such a extreme that we end up vomiting in disgust after the film. Being one of the earliest films on such a combination of depressing subjects, its no wonder it didn't do well, and that every other movie on this list took ten years or more the come out.

But, Soodhu Kavvum is different. Finally here's a movie in the same class as any Quentin Tarantino movie, that gives us so much as it subtly tells us, not only in its title (that crime will bite), but also through the sequences that Crimes will eventually bite you in the buttocks (Vadivelu says Betex).

There are several gems in this movie...

1. Vijay Sethupathy ending up back at square one teaching a fresh set of recruits about "KEDNAPING," may imply that you will probably not go anywhere with a life of crime. Atleast according to religious scriptures, you sow what you reap, and his criminal ways have not brought him wealth. He is back to his old ways in his old dirty hideout.

2. The savvy smart stylish guy ended up being an actor in the more disreputable line of cinema. Not much of a future for him there...

3. The other two ended up being assistants to a corrupt politician, being so scared for their lives that they cannot not face anybody new unless they are stripped down to their underwear, fearing that any new meeting could be a sting.

4. And the scheming politician's son ending up a minister, seemingly having fun. But is he really? Maybe he is. but that's the way India is right? I'll give the director that one. Maybe politicians and their kin do have no strings attached happiness at the expense of others' misery.

Oh... and completely out of context, the imaginary friend bit was pure gold. Movie makers... a lesson to you. If you want to show a hero's inner struggle and triumph over adversity, this is the way to go. Not some sob story about handicaps.

Anyway, Noir cinema is something that's only now being explored in Tamil Cinema. Its a good thing to experiment. If its fresh, its sure to be appreciated. I only have one request of directors. As long as you can keep audiences engaged... that is through new ideas or through different and innovative storytelling, you'll have fans. And the best way to get messages across is though humor... atleast some. Don't push high concept down our throats. Like beta testing a new piece of software, we need to have something to like first.

Oh... one final thought. Agatha Christie, the great crime novelist was thought to have Alzheimer's because her later works contained simpler words and less creative phrases. I urge my readers to not take my blogs as affronts to their command of English and feel slighted, but to appreciate the fact that new things are sometimes nice. Once in a while, having to step out of your comfort zone to appreciate something new is a good thing. And being challenged by a new turn of phrase is just a kick in you BETEX that you need to open up a little bit outside of Facebook, Twitter and James Hadley Chase. After all, if you're fifty today, some point before you kick the bucket, you're going to have to try Chinese food. As one of my old professors use to say, "then don't come and say me... Saar, I didn't understand."

Vanjagan Kanna Ada - Krishna is not a criminal

There are certain stories that tug at our hearstrings just for the sake of evoking a tear. A common man's struggle - Citizen Kane, a society's penance at the hands of a dictator - Battleship Potempkin, a nation's quest for independence - Gandhi, a world's justification for its existence - GATTACA, and a universe's fundamental motivation - the "hopefully" upcoming Foundation. A story that transcends these realities is one of God. Even God has a story. In today's scientific outlook, God has to justify himself also. And while there are a myriad mythologies ranging from human sacrifice like the Ramayan and the Bible, to doctrines on Morality like the Qoran, to questions on what personal morality itself is like the Book of Scientology; and from religious tolerance preached by the Guru Granth Sahib to religious hegemony preached by the politically motivated leaders of today, none has touched upon the sacrifices of God as much as has the Mahabaratha. And no God, including that doyen of human sacrifice, Christ, has ever proclaimed the virtue of malpractice to further justice in a world devoid of such, as has Lord Krishna.

Vigilantism has existed in this world since its existence. From the very first protozoa that decided by cosmic design or evolution - take your pick - it does not matter in the grand scale - that certain species were unworthy, to the Khat Panchayats of today, vigilantism has defined the course of individuals, their moral conduct, nations, their civil codes. Vigilantism has been the torchbearer of what we consider today to be the code of law that defines us as a people, wherever we might live.

To all my Christian friends, Jesus accepted the sins of his fellows as his own, and absolved the world of its ills. He died for it. He was magnanimous. He was the ideal human being, the pinnacle mortal coil. To my Hindu Friends, while Sri Ram was the epitome of human virtue, he wasn't really a good example of how to tackle the political landscape of today's world. And to my other friends, God is an entity to be followed unquestioned. But Lord Krishna is the one God whose canniness is an example on how to lead an ideal life. Maybe because of his birth in the Dwapara world, with its schemes and backstabbing galore. And the movie Karna is the greatest screen capture of the sacrifice of a God.

It is about how virtuous man's destiny is designed by a God's cruelty. It is about how man's cruelty is designed to be God's example of virtuosity. It is about how a pawn is sacrificed in the grand game of Chess. It is about how you can be right all along and yet go wrong. It is about life. This is why, in my opinion, the Mahabharata is the greatest epic on human life that has ever, and will ever be written, It is about sacrifice. Of man. Of God. The universe sacrifices so many subatomic particles every quintessential metric of measurable time to generate more useful entities. Whole stars sacrifice themselves into supernovae and black holes to create the building blocks of a better, more useful universe.

Every measurable instance of time, something in our multitude of universes dies, a little energy is lost towards absolute zero, in the hope that some definition of order may be created out of the chaos that is the cosmos. So too are the examples of Karnan - will a human being be better because of his example; so too is Krishna - will a God have to resort to schemes to make the world a better place;  so too is Karna - will a movie be made that asks us the fundamental question of this blog, will there be a better movie than this...

I am too lax of ethics to write any more about this. Persons better than me have composed a beautiful song to commenorate these virtues. Listen, enjoy, cry... and maybe learn a little bit...

Friends, the cosmos is an amazing place. It makes us laugh and cry and feel and emote. Let us try to be a small part of making it BETTER. One simple way you can do that is by reading my blog. Derisive, or sarcastically or wholeheartedly, did that last sentence not make you laugh? Haha... I just increased your lifespan by a little bit. A little bit of Krishna is within all of us.

Statistics, the Stock Market and the National Elections

Dear Readers,

A very short letter about how science cannot predict a chaotic process. Wait wait... that is why we have statistics. A seemingly random process is only random because we either don't have the analytical tools to decompose its simplicity or the computational power to deconstruct its complexity. A truly real life example of a statistical system, i.e., one in which trends can be determined with any rigorous error analysis as to how wrong we may be is the stock market, or more generally politics.

A stock market is not a thing that can be a truly random process as day traders and software makers who sell us the idea of being able to make money off of the ups and downs in said system might lead us to believe. Because, human nature is greedy, and as often it unfortunately turns out, greedy people are often the richest. They end up dictating how a stock will go... there are only two ways really -  rise or fall. A truly Markovian chain would lead us to believe that either of these eventualities have a finite probability it could be 20% up if the company you've invested in is going bust, or a 60% probability if your investment of choice has promise, but there's a competitor out there that has pluck. But then, in comes the question of insider trading for which statistical characteristics may be drawn (a.k.a Duckworth Lewis in Cricket which predicts rain reduced match results based on historical performances in similar situations), but for the fact that insider trading is a day by day epitomization of corruption in which one individual or company decides that they want to make money off of individual ignorance of the masses.

While statistics is seemingly inclusive of the individual's effect on large scale processes, vis-a-vis an individual's take on what's going to happen, it is totally liable to outliers of a certain kind. One type is an individual's gaming of the system which does not really work in the broad sense. The other is a fundamental manipulation of the system, as in a gaming house's home field advantage. This is why casinos do so well with a house advantage. Its a question of how you game the system. No matter how an individual player thinks and might occasionally win a thousand dollars on a slot machine, the casino plays on the mindset of the masses and eventually ends up winning the 15% house advantage. In other words, a statistical anomaly might win out sometimes, but an anomaly created on a curve based on the general behavior will ALWAYS win out.

So too in politics. If someone says to you, "Vote, because your vote matters," you should reply to them, "Why, because I'm going to be one thousandth of one thousandth of one thousandth (Indian example) of the already fixed chance that my vote eventually matters? In other words, if no one else voted, my vote is not  going to matter at all." Because politics is much like a casino. You might think that you vote would make a difference. But notwithstanding the fact that there are so many voters that your vote diminishes in significance by a quantifiable amount each time another is cast (but interestingly, the other way round in not true, because for a statistically significant result, your vote actually matter - why? See note 1 below), there are alliances that dictate a multi-party system's election result in such a broad stroke that the ideals you voted for are most certainly not the ideals that the country is going to be run by, why even bother?

Moreover, elections are like insider trading. Results are decided even before the first vote is cast. Part of that is definitely due to the corrupt nature of politicians, its the richest and the cruelest and the most greedy that make it into public life in the first place, statistically speaking. But most of it is not because of the usual answer of corruption and one party ceding control to the other. It is not even about anti-incumbency.

A fantastic government will still statistically end up losing the third term because of the statistics of human nature. Science, basically. As human beings, we always yearn for change. Change no matter how good our lives are now. Human greed leads us to believe that we can have something better next time around. This is why, left to our designs (unlike in a dictatorship or a kingdom, as the dynamics are quite different) we are not satisfied as a mass with the same brand of car, or the same TV show or the same lifestyle for too long.

This is precisely why molecules are seldom satisfied with a particular state of existence under the influence of outside forces... why for example fusion happens in the sun. We will... no matter how good the governance is, opt for change (See note 2). Can you name one dynasty, empire or otherwise, that has ruled any section of humanity for a thousand years (Inertial too has its limits in an Einsteinian universe)? Neither can I.

Ofcourse, there's insider trading in electoral politics and will continue to be until the sun goes supernova, but a deeper, fundamental reason why governments change is science. Statistics provides us with a tool to study this. Its also why (at our present level of understanding) mass opinion will end up mattering more than an individual's whim of good governance or making money at the slots.

So whether you vote for the Congress, the BJP pr a third front, it will not matter in ten years. Our Markov chain is not going to converge to a steady state transition matrix. We will always... ALWAYS end up voting for SOMEONE ELSE. And no matter what high opinion we might hold for our ourselves, representative democracy as is practiced in most so called democracies today will show scant regard to our votes. Please... still vote.

NOTE 1: If ten people vote for a single party, and an eleventh votes for a different one, then, the first party wins. Obviously. This is based on the assumption than the first ten voted on their own, with their own motivations. But if the first ten were coerced into voting for that particular party by, lets say a monetary incentive, and if the eleventh one voted fairly, then, the distribution of votes, i.e., ten to one was skewed even before the election started.

NOTE 2: Three people decide the fate of a stock. A and B have bought into it and want it to rise. But it rises at a rate they are not happy with. C is happy with his stock, but he feels that he can convince A and B that it would be much better if his stick did well. A is greedy by nature and so he says, "what the hell, let me buy more of C's stocks for a change. Maybe I could make more money that way". And the first stock falls.

A comedy about a philosophy? Well... that's a cliche... Or is it?

All through my adolescent life and through my youth and ... wait for it ... later on in the age of reckoning, I've grown up with the comical offerings of S. Ve. Sekar and Crazy Mohan, and later Kamal Hassan and Vivek and ... wait for it ... later on, the likes of Seinfeld and George Carlin. Theatre is a crucible in which spontaneity is the spark that kindles chortles. TV and Cinema is the pulpit where that spark becomes a conflagration that captivates masses. And stand up and improvisation is where the hand of god, that is, comedic creation is witnessed and revered first hand. Among the pantheon of intelligent comedy that has defined my defining years walks a new titan today: the United States Inspiring Artists  (USIA) group.

Their latest offering, the sixth installment of (yes... sigh!) six stage plays is called Kanna Thorakkanom Saami (Open Thy Eyes, Ye Gods - Biblical liberty of prose liberally taken ofcourse). This play has put a rather heavy capstone on their altruistic raison-de-etre, to raise money for various charitable causes in India including educating close to a hundred children. They have, with this one time performance (erstwhile Soviet spies, take notes... if you could go back in time and record the play, your use for one time notepads as secret codes would be obviated - TV execs, if you're reading, I have a sci-fi idea for you right here... no charge), raised a cumulative 40,000 Dollars for education. In Indian Rupees, notwithstanding the cool new symbol for our national currency and all, is enough to get about a hundred kids from pre-school through college. As one of my old friends would say, as shit goes, "good shit" indeed. And there in lies the greatness of this drama. The empathy, the purpose, and the comedy.

As one my my greatest living icons - Vivek - once said, "good comedy is a hard business." As another great living icon - Dr. Abdul Kalam said to him, "Good comedy with a message is even harder." And dare I quote another great before you pull me up on charges of plagiarism, the creator of the hit show Frasier, quite possibly the father of the longest running sitcom  - since P. G. Wodehouse's Jeeves and Wooster - once said (paraphrasing as I'm neither Churchill's speechwriter to remember every alcohol induced rambling nor Carl Rove to retro-modify George Bushes' left vs right fiascoes), we intend for our show to be funny when it needs to be and serious when it should be. Comedy should flow naturally.

That is what the writing of Sumitra Ramjee, does in droves here. Her latest play is all about breaking the boundaries between castes. It is about smashing social mores - especially in India - about taboos regarding LBGT and transvestites. It is about the fundamental belief in a higher power, whether you believe in God or not. It is more than anything, about embracing the differences in cultures and making the world a better place to live in for everyone through the fundamental understanding that we were all put on this earth for specific reasons. Those reasons may be hidden to use at first, or worse, be unappealing. But the simple truth is, without embracing our raison-de-etre (yes I'm clever, that's why that term has been used twice, you philistines), our lives are worth naught. Be it the eunuch or the transvestite, be it the non-believing slum dweller or the jaded new age college goer, everyone starts out as caricatures who are forced to explore new dimensions as their characters discover potentials in their co-stars.

And at this point, let me shout out to the director, Mohan, who has taken this potentially chasmic script and molded it into performances worth cosmic rapture. He managed to eke out body language and vocal modulations that made the comical dialogues into living images that make us emote to the plight of the condition the characters suffer. A superb script needs a superb director to get the best qualities of the actors to gel with the pre-natal vision of the writer to make the end product a child worth keeping. Kanna Thorakanom Saami is a marriage of visions that puts us in splits at the same time as it splits the atoms of stigma. And the music by Ramani, which was top notch speaks volumes about having an Ilayaraaja collaborator on your crew. Doesn't hurt, does it?

No matter how good a play may be screen written or directed, it is up to the people in the rouge in front of the bright yellows that good lines, laughter inducing or thought provoking, may be delivered. The cast of USIA equaled or even surpassed the previously mentioned veterans I've grown up with in achieving this. The local dialect of Madras is one of the hardest to master as it includes equal parts of culture, swagger, abandon and just plain **** you. To switch from corporate polity to brass tacks boondocks, which is what these people must have had to do (I've heard them utter both) requires a special talent that I've seldom seem outside the dorm rooms of the shadiest colleges. From Balajee, the cardsharp lead, to Jeeva, the all-too-common beggar at the streetlight, every single person on that stage knew what they were doing, and more importantly, what they were saying. Including the scintillating dance be Arvind, Gaurav and Aswini choreographed by Shilpa (hey, hey, hey, namma ooru naatu thiruvizha paathirukkiya? Tamizh kalacharam without item song? What are you, distended from time or something?). If I've left out any one's name, its only because I forgot.

Oh yeah, four kudos that I felt were worth mentioning... Kala from Florida whose contribution to the play was the amazing makeup of all the artists - brilliant job as only someone sitting in row one could have truly appreciated, Shyamala, who supplied the costumes from India, Meera, who made sure said costumes got the the set, and Jeeva and her family, who provided the premises for the play's rehearsals.

Every single character was pivotal. The Skeptical ragamuffin father who believes a new deal equates to cash to the loving mother who respects ideals, from the vagabond son turned by the power of love to the haughty girlfriend ... err ... also turned by love, to the thugs who portray the worst in the human condition, and to the eunuch (also played by the indefatigable and indefinably - he has "something" - talented Mohan) who represents hope for a finer future, everyone, but simply everyone lived their characters. This, more than anything else made the play for me.

I was lucky to see it. I wish the USIA well in all their forthcoming forays, and wish the kids of India a golden tomorrow. With stalwarts like this, and with the support of the 500 or so who turned up of this play, their futures are secure. Please be on the look out for future offerings of the USIA. Even if you don't believe in the brand of comedy they preach, their message is noble. Support them in any way you can. I know Keith Olbermann is dead to the American public, and he is dead to me as well, but, "Good night and good luck."

         

People I know

Al Pacino is and has been in so many iconic roles that it is difficult to name one and say, yes, this is the character that defined him. Be it Don Corleone's son, or be it Robert DeNiro's nemesis in Heat, or be it a professor in the altogether crappy movie 88 minutes, or the blind man or the political adviser in the moniker of this article, he is, and always will be, a legend of Hollywood.  In staying with this title, there are a few people in everybody's life who have played a significantly large role in shaping your destiny that you cannot detail you like without loss of generality by not stating their contributions.

First off... growing up in India and wanting to chase your passion, you have to have good parents. When I say good parents, I mean the kind of people who will say, "okay champ, do what you want." There are very few who do that for the simple reason that when you grow up, even the India of today is a cutthhroat cruel place that values connections more than creativity. My mom and dad did that for me. Even though their background was decidedly middle class. 

My dad started his life as a lowly engineer in a public transport corporation, and yet let me chase my dream everytime it changed, before settling into its final form as an Environmental Engineer. My mom had an opportunity to be a superstar chef or an ace TV reporter or even a movie superstar. She is beautiful, talented, and even more than that, she is  a gifted individual par excellence. She is an artist and a linguist that would have put other savants to shame. Not as a son, but as an unbiased observer do I say this. And yet she turned down every offer that came her way, because her sense to family was more important. And as I grew up, they made sacrifices that defied common sense and logic as to why they would do this. Turns out, it was for one kid, who they hoped would make it big in his chosen field one day.

MY uncle Balaji, a surrogate father, or his wife Priya, who I adopted as my aunt...  they were as important parents to me as my next best  own. My grandmothers, Jayalakshmi and Saroja... universes apart in the way they expressed love, but lightseconds together in the way it came to me. My friends, Subash, Vasanth, Shankar, Jagadeesan , Sreekanth and Anand, contemporaries who were as close as the planets in the inner solar system as far as how fast light travels to bridge that gap. 

Later, when I had a chance to strike out on my own in the states, it was two other people who supported me in ways that were straight out of fairy-tale fantasy. Have you ever heard of aunts that are as loving as mothers? Even in Indian sitcoms of any language, where extended families are quite simply about usurping you wealth, Indian imagination has never gone past the evil aunt. But in my case, my aunts were lightning rods that did not let even the worst of the worst personal tragedies (mine or theirs), stand in the way of unconditional motherly love. 

Sumitra and Meera, poles apart as human beings were always there for me as no biological mother could be. For, a biological mother would have a physical bond that made it an evolutionary directive to take care of her child. But, here... these two women, with just the non-scientifically-quantifiable love in their hearts and literally no physical rule, love me as their own son to this day... what are they? Angels in human form? Do Angles even exist? If they do, they are not called Ramba, Oorvasi or Menaka... they are called Sumitra and Meera.

And what about my late uncle Ramjee, who bought me my first yoyo, or Santhanam, who told me, "you can call me anytime for anything?" These were guys who were executives and the busy men of the world who had stuff to do 24/7.  What then, of my cousins Venu, Shilpa and Keshav, who amidst their schedules of excruitiation, would have a minute to talk to me about the most inane of things. Venu, who would help me out with the most arduous tasks, or Shilpa, who would make sure that my limited time with family was well spent, or Keshav, who would ensure that my obtuse brain would grasp the truths of reality and fantasy as best as it could?

And Finally, when I met the girl that will make my life for the remainders of my days, I know that good things are about to happen. Here I am, finally in a place where I can comment on somebody else's misfortune with equanimity when they get out for a duck. How could I do that unless there was a family to look after me and a Swetha in my life and unless Sachin had retired? Not possible.

These are all personal stalwarts who have stood by me through the tests of fire. But there is one that stands tall among all of them. That he is not even related to me by the most wishful thinking of metaphors is irrelevant. He is Sachin Tendulkar. There is one simple reason. Whether it be his blitzkrieg 87 vs New Zealand that first got me into One Day Cricket in an age when test matches were dominating, or his Desert Storm knock in Sharjah when the power went out when me and my dad tried to watch the match in my granddad's house and we first first bonded over Cricket, or the 137 against Pakistan in Chennai when I first realised your worth for the Indian Team, or the 2011 World Cup when I first truly understood that Sachin Tendulkar HAS BEEN my adult life, your career was all about the FIRSTS. It taught me about how much I respected the PEOPLE I KNOW. 

The Best Sportsperson of my time... Not really a Tamil Cinema Blog now, is it? No it isn't!

Sportspersons, like film stars, are a different breed than the rest of us. With my recent PhD after seven years of hard toil, sure, I've contributed to the betterment of Science. Well... scientific Engineering. Urm... let's be honest... to practical Engineering. Uhh... well to Engineering practices. Oh, what the hell, to getting a dusty ledge in a dirty library in a defunct wing of  a WORLD RENOWNED (heh... heh.., got you) university. But the point is, I've done something that will most likely end up as a footnote in the annals of human history.

Sportsmen and TV stars, the good ones atleast, do something that people will remember as defining epithets of that field (ha... ha... fancy word there... a pity these are disallowed in rigorous scientific prose). They are remembered as icons. And unless you are a Newton or a Gauss or an Einstein or a Feynman, Science beleaguers you into being one of among a fifty thousand or so who graduate every year. And I bet you that you will be hard pressed to find two other scientists with a vowel appellate. I will name one for you... Abel. Not so with sports and cinema. There are atleast 50 different scientific fields, and I can think of only one name of note that started with an A. But come sports and movies, I can name three: Agassi and  Alain (Prost if you are churlish) and Arnold.

So there. In the final tally of what matters to most men - and women, since Amelia Earhart, she who was blessed with not one but two vowelline names and was the progenitor of modern airfield games - its the sports and movie superstars who take the icing on the cake of superstardom built of others in less fortunate fields. And between the movies and sports, there is one key difference. One is live... the other is not.

So then... as an average human being, albeit with an IQ slightly higher than the average bear and with a degree most of you can only hope, in the best of circumstances to come through the mail for services otherwise rendered,  the best sportsperson I've seen in my lifetime is... Dum Dum Dum Dum Dum... Saurav Ganguly!

He is the man who transformed Indian Cricket from the immensely popular but also ran Minardis to the powerhouse that is a Ferrari. He changed the face of Indian Cricket from an often mercurial, but more often predictable US Davis cup team to the world beating Aussies. He made Indian Cricket into the Lancia Delta Integrali, a car that could be relied upon to win and win consistently, from an Audi TT, that could only do wet hillclimbs magnificently. He changed Indian Cricket from a side that had its Bests and Beckhams and Rooneys, to one that could challenge for the World Cup everytime with a Pele and a Ronaldo an a Ronaldinho. In short, he was to Indian Cricket as Michael Schumacher was to German Formula One. Better yet, he was to India's new millenium National Anthem of Chak De Blue. as was his compatriot to the Jana Gana Mana decades ago.

As a Cricketing legend who transformed into the Dark Side of the Moon, there can be no other than the great Dada. Not even Bradman, with his uparalled might against the short ball (he managed a hundred in the days when a ball to your ribcage was considered unEnglishmanlike - although, given their conduct through the Raj, I use the term very loosely), or Marshall with his blinding pace that scared tailenders into eternal nightmares, or Sobers with his first six home runs off consecutive pitches (yes, yes, but I do have an American audience as well, you know), and the evergreen Sachin, who is only as old as his next announced retirement is, could match the wholesome grandeur he has brought to Indian Cricket, first as a swashbuckling an critically acclaimed Prince of the off side, and later as India's most successful captain.

Dada gave this side a self belief in itself that none other managed before in any form of the game with any country. You could draw parallels to the great Alain Prost who did something similar with the then fledgling McLaren Porsches, or with Schumacher and the positively uncompetitive Ferraris, but those were more about an individual building a team around THEMSELVES. Here was, in my humble opinion the first example of a TEAM built around an individual. An Individual whose record of four hundred and twenty four intentional matches, 38 centuries and 132 wickets speak for themselves, but who also as a captain led the team to 97 victories in 195 matches with way more wins than losses (97 to 78). More importantly, he won us almost twice the number of matches he lost in tests (21 to just 13). Most importantly of all, he won more matches outside India in tests than he lost (11 to 10), and crucially won in Pakistan, England, Australia and South Africa, the perennial final frontiers for Indian Cricket. Feats unheard of till then except for the great Kapil Dev who only managed it in Old Blimey.

Of all the things that Dada has done for betterment of Indian Cricket, he did a few things that stand out as pure genius. Backing Harbhajan Singh when he
was only one among the pack... that speaks for itself. A Matchwinner par excellence for India with his 400 plus wickets. Lobbying for the great, perhaps greatest Indian captain of all time, Mahendra Singh D when he was but a lark of lad with an Imran Khan wanna be haircut, and controversially but wisely relegating Tendulkar to number four in ODIs to make way for the most explosive batsman the Cricketing world has seen for a while, Sehwag. Canny decisions all... and all indicative of a brain that's fed to the gill with fishes (after all, what else would you expect from a Bengali?), bulging as it does end on end.

Most of all, he swirled his blue shirt at lords and got his first hundred at lords, and well, he lords over all over Indian Captains before or since in terms of just plain Attitude. To a fan of a game that is marginally more than a unifying religion in a country that is divided by a lot less high profile stuff, he is, and will remain, the one and only true DADA.

Honorable Mentions:
Michael Schumacher, for taking a car that would not turn into corners to a memorable win in Catalunya and then onto five consecutive world Championships
Andre Agassi. for proving that talent alone is not the only recipe to become a pop culture superstar in the era or the infinitely more talented Sampras
Lance Armstrong,  for quaffing in the face of Cancer? What cancer?
Viswanathan Anand, for showing the world that Chess is not a bohemian pasttime of the idle Russians
Baichung Bhutia, for bringing football to the Cricket crazed billions in a country where that sport has its own holy Trinity
The Black Caps, for showing us that a nation with more sheep than men can actually be good at something
The Giants, for bringing back the faith after the longest interval between superstars and also rans